From the sideline, “Watch and Learn”

September 24, 2011: Week Two: From the Sideline, "Watch and Learn"

Week Two proved to be a better week than the first. The coaches were well prepared and more organized and the children were inspired to play. The structure of disorganization that lingered from last week seemed to magically dissipate. Once more, Freddy did well in practice. He sported a smile of enthusiasm that illuminated his entire face when practicing a drill of kicking the ball back and forth to one of his teammates. In the moment, he was content and when he is happy, I am happy.

Practice ended, and the game began. Echoing last week’s performance, my son decided that he was going to escape from the field and sit the game out once again. Free from outbursts, he simply walked away. Well that was an improvement from last week, wouldn’t you agree? Unlike the prior week, I was prepared. His small, child–sized, outdoor camping chair was parallel to mine and I assumed that it would serve the purpose of taking small breaks. Not so.

I felt more at ease now than the previous week about him sitting out. I decided that I would be supportive whether he chose to play or not. I decided that I would be silent from spewing out discouraging comments and avoid causing him discomfort by attempting to force him. I did make the effort however, to encourage him but I did not forcibly insist that he play. I elected to allow him to make the choice. I was determined to let him decide on his own action. He suggested that he “watch and learn”.  This is a sentimental phrase that he and I frequently share with each other. I agreed with delight.

The other players were focused and playing well. They were attentive to the coaches and to the game. I am happy to report that our team won. Last week I could not even tell you what the score was, I only knew that we lost. This week we won 2–0. Improvement was made by players, coaches, but most of all, the parents. Parents seemed more confident and less stressed. I, myself, consciously chose to follow rules in the Parent’s Soccer Survival Guide and remember that “The game is for the children” and “Let them learn at their own pace”.

Allowing Freddy to make his own decision of sitting this one out, gave me the freedom to enjoy spending time with him, prevented me from barking out commands, and removed the possibility of placing high expectations on him when he just isn’t ready. He will participate when he is ready. So from the sideline, my son and I watched and cheered his teammates on.

The coaches taught me a valuable lesson this week. The attitude that came about was a positive one which focused on accepting that the little ones would let them know when they were ready to engage. After all, these little ones are just four and five years old. If it’s not fun now, it never will be. It is easy for parents to get carried away as they want their child to succeed. The real success unfolds when parents allow their children to breathe, to gain confidence, and to have fun.

Freddy is a visual learner. “Watch and learn” is an effective tactic for him. As he watches his team move up and down the field, he will learn how to play the game. Once he feels comfortable, he can join in.

I just want him to have fun.