Star of the Week

November 28, 2011: Week Ten: Star of the Week

Freddy brought a letter home from school advising that he was chosen to be “Star of the Week”.  I was so pleased! My son is not only behaving appropriately but is also demonstrating skills that seem to be typical. What a far cry from the time he began preschool last year. At the age of 3, his capacity to communicate included roughly 10 words. He experienced speech language difficulty, and other developmental delays including delayed social skills. He qualified for special services at the pre–elementary school in our district.

Last year, he made extensive improvement and was moved from a self–contained special education class to a general education inclusion class. So as you can imagine, I am overjoyed with receiving news that he will be “Star of the Week”. He has taken awe-inspiring strides toward advancement. I am thrilled.

With this honor comes the responsibility of preparing and sharing information about his likes and favorite things. I was informed that this assignment required the creation of a poster displaying Freddy’s favorite items and photos we were willing to share. I know that I should not complain, but not only do I have endless amounts of homework myself but now we also need to complete homework for his pre–k class.

I must say, as anxious as I am with catching up on my own schoolwork, it was quite entertaining to choose photos and toys that he would share in the upcoming week. I believe that this activity boosts confidence in these young preschoolers. Every student in my son’s class will earn a week in which they will be “Star”. This week is Freddy’s moment to shine. I am pleased to see that he was not the final student chosen which signifies to me that he is performing at a satisfactory level in class.

He was excited to choose his favorite books to reveal at ‘show and tell’. He could not decide on which book he desired to share more so he narrowed it down to two. My son loves to read. We read together just about every night before bedtime. I believe that this also contributes to the improvement in speech along with the speech services he receives weekly.

As I met with my son’s teacher at the end of his “Star” week for parent–teacher conference, she informed me that Freddy did exceptionally well with presenting his poster board before his classmates. She added that his social skills are developing adequately and that he is improving tremendously since the beginning of the school year. I was pleasantly surprised. He does struggle in other areas however, I assumed that socialization would be the last area in which he would overcome barriers. I was incorrect. Never underestimate the power of a child.

My son did struggle socially just a few short months ago, so to hear that he is presenting publicly is amazing to me. I am so thankful for the progress that he has accomplished and continues to achieve.

My star’s poster was sweet and we managed to include many photos. I hope that he keeps up the good work. The best part of it all was that we spent quality time putting it all together.

Mom, Mum, Mommy

November 19, 2011: Week Nine: Mom, Mum, Mommy

I love my son with all of my heart but occasionally, his actions drive me off the wall, particularly the numerous times he calls on me in the day. He yells my name every other minute. Mom…mom… mom… mom… mom…that is the one word I hear most often every single day. I understand that he is just 4 years old but seriously? Can Freddy go one whole minute without calling me a gazillion times?

My son is a well–behaved child for the most part. He has his moments of tantrum, frustration, and tears but that is normal and expected for his age. Otherwise, he is a wonderful boy. He has a respectable heart and temperament and I would sacrifice my life for him in a second without hesitation.

However, sometimes…..

I become frustrated when hearing Mom a thousand times a day. He demands my attention for no particular reason, and Thank God, it is never due to suffering or injury. He tugs at my sleeve in the hopes that I will gaze at him intently while he plays or urges me to join in. I truly enjoy spending quality time with my son, I do, honestly, I do.

Nevertheless, as a human being who has numerous responsibilities that are endless, it becomes exhausting at times. I would prefer to play with him all day and focus my undivided attention on him and nothing else. Nothing would give me more pleasure. Unfortunately, I do not have that luxury in life. And that is fine. I acclimate to juggling my activities.

I am astounded when watching other mothers accomplish so much more. Honestly, I applaud these women. I have just one child and I struggle. What about the moms who have 3, 4 or 5 or twins, triplets, or more? God Bless them. I do not believe that I would possess the strength or ability to accomplish that. Perhaps these moms with more children have external support whether from extended family or professional services. That would explain how these mothers achieve a great deal of work. I am not in possession of any additional relief. I am the one who labors in everything.

Again, I must state how much I love my son. I do not want people to have the wrong impression. Being his mom is an honor and he is the greatest experience of my life. With that being said, I must also reiterate how inconvenient it is to hear mom, mom, mom, all day; every day. Oh why, oh why, must he do this? Is it because he has no siblings? Is he just bored? I can schedule more play dates but who has that kind of time?

I must be doing something right though. As he pleas for his mommy over and over throughout the day, I am proud to say that at the end of each day he tells me: “You’re a good mommy”. That just melts my heart every time. Now those are words I could hear repeatedly without ever becoming frustrated.

As difficult as this may be in the moment, I must laugh it off and remember how blessed I am to have him.

I waited an eternity to be a mom and I love it! I would not trade it for anything!

Fun at The Little Gym

November 5, 2011: Week Eight: Fun at The Little Gym

No soccer again this week. Freddy has a double ear infection once again! Now that he is receiving antibiotics to heal this infection, I revived the hunt for other kid activities since he is not a fan of soccer. A friend of mine mentioned that her son participates in Taekwondo each week; however I am not convinced that Freddy will agree to that. He is just so picky.



google images/thinkinglikemommy.blogspot.com

Returning to The Little Gym seems like a sensible option. We attended parent–child classes there some time ago when Freddy was an infant through the age of two. Just prior to his second birthday, Freddy was undergoing evaluations for speech language difficulty as well as other developmental delays. We needed to temporarily discontinue our participation at The Little Gym due to these assessments. I was committed to locating the resources that Freddy required for those delays and so we sadly said goodbye to The Little Gym.

Thinking back to those times, I was overly concerned that my son had serious developmental delays. He did not perform at a level equivalent to other toddlers; with his speech delay and social skills underdeveloped, I was worried. I still worry. As a mom, most likely, I will always worry.

Now that he is 4 years old and improving dramatically with his speech, I decided to revisit The Little Gym to see which classes are available for his age group. When I learned that a “Sports Skills Development” class is offered for ages 3–6, I was delighted.

We recently attended a birthday party at The Little Gym and as it fostered positive memories, I witnessed Freddy’s contentment as his face lit up with excitement. He informed me that he wished to return to active involvement there. I was surprised but enthusiastic. If soccer is not his specialty, that is acceptable, but he needs to assume some type of activity. As he displayed interest in returning to The Little Gym, I was all for it.

The staff remembered us which created a smooth enrollment into an introductory “Sports Skills Development” class. Once his double ear infection and my bronchitis surrendered to the battle, off to the class we went. He truly enjoyed this class. He had a few reservations at first since this class does not promote a parent–child involvement, and since he is attached to my hip, he hesitated with joining in. Once he became active, it was all smiles from there. It was nice to see the same teacher we had two years ago, she was also teaching this class. Freddy had  established a relationship with her and this eased his participation into this kid–friendly class.   

The class consisted of boys mostly his age, and they welcomed him which gave him a boost of confidence. I was aware that he achieved improvement over the last two years, but I was amazed to see how much and how well he was doing socially and physically. It is welcoming to see that other classes are offered other than gymnastics–only classes.

Since he completed the introductory class, performed well, and displayed an interest, I intend to enroll Freddy in this weekly class. I am pleased that we rediscovered one of his passions. The Little Gym is somewhat pricey but seeing that big smile on his face is worth every penny. They do offer reasonable payment plan options which help.

At this time, he simply may not be prepared to play soccer and he is yet quite young. This class introduces concepts that include a variety of sports and teaches skills on team sports and participation. It seems like an ‘introductory to play sports’ class. Strength and agility are improved here as well. At the same time, he loves it and has loads of fun which demonstrates the opposite attitude he held in playing soccer.

So for now, The Little Gym it is.

Check out their website: http://www.thelittlegym.com/Pages/default.aspx

What Snow? It's only October!

October 29, 2011: Week Seven: What Snow? It’s only October!  

I sensed that I would receive the phone call this morning. And the message was: “Just wanted to let you know that all soccer games have been canceled due to the weather. See you next week”. After all, it was snowing! I cannot recall a time when October snow tumbled across the lawn to unite with the layers of falling leaves. How could it snow two days prior to Halloween? Freddy was so excited for two reasons: the obvious–it was snowing and well, no soccer.

Bare and undressed

There was enough snowfall to construct a snowman. Should I dare garnish the snowman with a Halloween costume and place a pumpkin on it, assorted with candy? This should present an interesting trick–or–treat venture.

Freddy will dress as a police officer. His preferred pieces of the costume are the night stick and the handcuffs; naturally. Although these are kid–friendly costume ornaments crafted of flimsy plastic, he is not permitted to include them in his Halloween parade. Parents were advised against sending their children to school with “weapons” as this would pose a danger to other students. Seriously? It is imaginary play.

Halloween Parade at school

I presumed that Freddy would be joyfully enthused and passionate about dashing out to trick–or–treat. His initial momentum was strong and convincing. One short hour later, he was calling it quits. My baby was not feeling well and was developing a stubborn cough. A few days later we learned that he contracted a double ear infection and I was falling victim to bronchitis.

Not now Mom, I'm busy doing police work

Mr. Policeman did receive a considerable amount of candy since our travel covered a mere three block radius. His little green pumpkin overflowed with a variety of goodies. As we stopped for a short break, he seized his walkie talkie and when he finished speaking into it, he uttered: “Mom, I was talking to other policemen on my walkie talkie to see where they are trick–or–treating”. You just have to love moments like this, they are so precious. My heart was warm and fuzzy and I strained myself not to laugh. The manner in which he said this was adorable.

I sense that Freddy experienced more pleasure dishing out candy to fellow trick–or–treaters rather than receiving sweets of his own. Our bare snowman did not survive the night. He began to thaw and collapse before we could complete his look. Halloween goers took notice to our fallen snow creature and were amused. Snow and Halloween do not blend well, this combination is just bizarre.

What happened to soaring into a vast heap of bright pomegranate–colored leaves? And the crisp breathable air of autumn?

This early snow storm may be an intication of the harsh winter that is preparing to invade our space. Are you ready?

  

Don't forget the snacks!

October 22, 2011: Week Six: Don’t forget the snacks!

google images/examiner.com

Each week a parent is assigned to distribute snacks and drinks to the team players so that the little ones can refuel after the game. Guess whose turn it is this week? I wish this league had a snack stand similar to the one at my nieces’ soccer games. Bagels, burgers, hot dogs, coffee, hot chocolate, you name it; they have it. Apparently, their league is a tad bit more sophisticated than ours.

I hope I do not get short–term amnesia and forget the snacks. I must write myself a reminder on post-it notes and place them all over the house. A riot of disorderly four year olds may ensue if there is a shortage of treats. 

google images/ehow.com

It's an eventful week here at the soccer club. In addition to the snack list, each parent must also participate in selling raffles to benefit their child’s team. Did I mention that our team name is the “Scorpions”? Hint, hint, would you like to buy a raffle? We have the privilege of wearing Freddy’s favorite color: green. And yet this does not influence him to play whatsoever.

Soccer apparel is being sold as well. Pressure is placed on parents to buy at least one item. So a blue t–shirt it is. Did I mention that this is not all fun and games?

Freddy continues to expose his reluctance to participate. Even with nudging from his coaches and their promises to escort him each step of the way to score a goal, he kicks up his heels in refusal. His feisty little attitude could knock you over. Anyone who has been around a four year old long enough knows exactly what I am speaking of.

I recognize that Freddy has absolutely zero desire to play soccer for whatever reason, it is not his forte. And that is fine with me but I have to fulfill my commitment to bring snacks, sell raffles, and buy t–shirts, so that is where my focus is positioned this week.

It can become stressful at times; the running around, and the participation required of a parent.  Sometimes I look forward to the end of the weekend and the busyness of it all. As Monday rolls around and school is back in session, it seems much more tranquil, believe it or not.

Our involvement with this soccer league is a good release. Although demanding, it facilitates the identification with other parents and the ability to connect with them. Many of our children attend preschool together and are in the same class.

I am recalling a conversation I engaged in with my dad in Week One where he stressed the point of not forcing Freddy to play. “Let him develop at his own pace”. This phrase stings my ears and echoes through my mind roaming around endlessly trying to find a permanent home in my brain.  

As I worked my way through a stressful weekend, I did not forget the snacks, raffles, or apparel.

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Way to go mom!



One Week at a Time.

October 15, 2011: Week Five: One week at a time.

Keeping in mind the concerns and questions that emerged last week, I asked Freddy if he wanted to attend soccer this time before dressing him. I sought to present him with the option and not limit his opinion. He responded by crying: “No, no! I don’t want to go to soccer! I want to stay home!” His regularly scheduled tantrum was as if he was in utter agony from some type of torture I was afflicting upon him.

http://www.empoweringparents.com/Stopping-a-temper-tantrum.php#

I decided that it may be favorable to sit this one out at home. We recently returned from a trip to Florida and are still in recuperation mode. However, I explained to my son that although we were not venturing out today, we will attend next week. When I least expected it, that gleam in his eye flashed itself and sparkled in the reflection of my vision upon him. That spark lit up his face with joy when I agreed to stay home and play.

Wow! His discontentment for soccer seems worse than I had imagined. I initially registered him in the league since he enjoys running. My thoughts were that this would be a valuable and safe opportunity for him to fulfill that enjoyment. Soccer is a reasonable sport for beginners his age.

It is not my goal for him to assume that it is acceptable to end his involvement in soccer prematurely. I expect him to put in the effort next week and continue even if it is on the sideline “watching and learning”.

My plan is to manage this one week at a time. If this displeases him to the point of boredom and dissatisfaction, then we will discontinue and bring this to a close. I am concerned that resigning before the season ends may be teaching Freddy that it is appropriate to surrender, that starting something and not following it through is satisfactory. He is just four years young and on the other hand, at this particular stage, he may not perceive that this is quitting, he may see this as soccer is over, and nothing more.

As far as possibilities of other developmental delays existing and thoughts that haunt me, as of now, there is no additional evidence that suggests this to be the case. It seems to be isolated to speech.

Freddy and I enjoyed playing at home, I engaged in imaginative play with him and he was ecstatic. He has a love for building and constructing things, tools, and the like. He is mechanically inclined and has the innate gift of working with his hands.

If I could only find local classes that would emphasize that talent!

 

He would rather do this than play soccer

 

Freddy loves to paint

Again I ask, when is enough, enough?

October 8, 2011: Week Four: Again I ask, when is enough, enough?

As week four in the season approaches, I assume that Freddy will learn to enjoy playing soccer and will become eager to participate. He again does well in practice and it seems that he is becoming acclimated. However, when the beginning of the game launches, he repeatedly searches for ways to come off of the field and join me on the sideline. This week he did remain in the game for a few minutes longer than previous weeks but nevertheless chose to cut it short.  

As he approached me at the sideline, it was clearly evident to me that he is not enjoying himself with this sport. As I desire for my son to find his niche in some type of physical activity, if he is unhappy with soccer, what am I promoting? Does he feel pressured? Does soccer really bore him that much where he rolls off of the field declaring that he is tired every week? And for me I wonder, if he is so tired every week when he barely runs around, should that raise a concern to possible medical conditions?

My son has been classified as preschool disabled due to speech delay. Before preschool, he received services through Early Intervention for speech therapy. Although he has made tremendous progress over the last two years, he continues to struggle with speech and articulation, and receives individualized speech therapy services. The reason I even mention this is because I wonder, is there something else occurring? Is his disengagement in soccer related to any other type of delay or is he just extremely aware of his speech delay compared to that of his peers? 

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As we watch his team play, I asked Freddy if he enjoys playing soccer. His response was a well–defined “no”. Instead of quickly encouraging him to sprint back into the game, I asked him a series of questions such as: why don’t you like it? Is there something that bothers you? Why do you feel this way? His simple response was: “I don’t like it because there are too many people”. This again has me questioning if his dislike for being in a group setting has something to do with his speech delay or some other interruption in development. I could also be overanalyzing the thought; he could simply be disinterested in this particular sport.

This leads me back to the question that I proposed in Week One: When is enough, enough? If he is not enjoying the experience, what is the benefit? Perhaps he may be too young and not ready. All children develop at different stages, so if other children his age are ready, he may not be. As I struggle to decide on whether to pull him out now after four weeks or stick it out for another six, my sole desire in this is to discover what activity would sincerely enhance his development and bring him to a place of harmony. I am desperate to see that gleam in his eye, that sparkle, the evidence that he is content.

As other team players are blossoming into motivated and inspired players, Freddy lacks that enthusiasm that lights up a child’s face when you know it is pleasurable. I can see it in his eyes; he is not interested, competitive, or ambitious about soccer. As I am concerned about the questions that flood my mind, it breaks my heart to see him unhappy and disengaged. The cheerfulness that usually radiates his smile at other moments is lacking here. I am committed to finding another source of fun for him whether it is swimming, karate, activities at the Little Gym, or something entirely different. This is now my pursuit.

In the meantime, again I ask, when is enough, enough? Will it be week four or week ten?



googleimages/powerthechurch.com